the golden, rotting apple

by paper forest

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released June 19, 2007



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paper forest San Diego, California

sean burdeaux + friends

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Track Name: alphabet
all in all
in actuality
I think you know
what you've been doing to me
and your words are ghosts
as they fall off your mouth
and lay dead on the ground
where they wait to be stomped out

everyone is talking shit about everyone

I lit a match on my tooth
and it burnt the roof of my mouth
I stood right in the door
but everyone, they still got out
I'm too loud when I whisper
might as well be dead when I shout
I'm a thought, I'm a secret, I'm a word
I'm your dead ghost now
Track Name: animals in a maze
what kind of knot will you tie in your noose?
will you try to make it loose?
so either way, you end up in the news
we just can't stop talking about you

well, my neighbor kicks his dog
and he spits right in her face
he's mad about her four legs
and finding out we're all the same

we're all animals in a maze

well, I heard you went to the woods
in an attempt to find some gold
'cause you heard that metal is good
but I know that metal is cold

well, my neighbor's dog ran away
she ran right through the open gate
my neighbor cried and called her name
but he knew that he was too late

she is an animal sprung free from the maze
she is an animal sprung free
Track Name: baby souls
we're broken souls
we're all whole souls
and we've been milking on the child that we'll become
we're baby souls
we're all old souls
and we'll be milking all the children when they come

we're tender souls
we're all tough-skinned bodies
and we're bumping up against the hardest bones
we're fiery souls
we're all raincloud souls
and we've been bending all the softest of our bones

with one last breath we'll breathe if there's any more air
and with one last lunge we can see if we can all make it there
with one more mallet we can try to make the rest of this fair
and with one last breath we'll breathe if there's any more air
and with one last lunge we can see if we can all make it there
and with one less mallet we can try to make the rest of this fair
we can take our hearts and try to make them into something to wear
just to take it off and pretend that we really don't care
standing proud and naked, pretending that we're really not scared

we're all kids on our way to the park
(so I'll see you there)
Track Name: bottles, bottles, bottles
well, how many bottles must I drink before I'm sure that I can't think about anything anymore
you're a thief but I'm glad I let you in
you're a thief but I'm glad you stole my shit
I've been drinking too much
'cause I've been thinking too much
Track Name: dead sons
well, how does your new hat fit
will it help your sails to unfurl?
on a boat that's stacked with guns so high
will you help destroy the world?
well, you're a soldier now
and you sail across the sea
with a bullet in your pocket
well, a bullet in someone's head it will soon be

you've got a smile on your face
but you shake in your shoes, okay
you want to fight the new war
but this shit's old news, okay

with a salute on your forehead
you shake in your boots, okay
well you don't want to die
but the other guy shoots, okay

well, in this game of warfare diplomacy
well, you have to make the other bastard die for his country
so you strap on your boots
and you pick up your brand new gun
yea you strap on your boots
and you march and you shoot and you run

and that bullet in your pocket
better end up in somebody's head
well, his wife's or his child's, it don't matter
as long as they're dead

so you aim and you shoot
but you want to turn and run
yea you aim and you shoot
and you wonder what you have done

you shake in your boots
and you cry right into the sun
you scream that you're sorry
to the face of his dead youngest one
you scream that you're sorry
to the face of his young dead son
he was seven years old, just like your son
Track Name: don't drink all the rain
don't drink all the rain
it'll make all the wood in your mouth expand
just like the heart that you put on my tongue
and I held in the palm of my hand
and it spread down my throat and it covered my hands
and now I'm tangled in vines

our wires are cut but I'm still on the floor
crawling away from the chill up my spine
Track Name: drowning in C/we, mad animals
this is a small chaos
when animals that pride themselves on their perceived senses of reason and rationality
no longer have or want the weight of their centers to be courted by the gravity that once kept them safe
and at a distance from the irrational madness and comfort of another such animal
this madness: irrational, true, green, and longing
this comfort: rational, true, weathered and strong, weary, relieved, relived, recorded, and remembered
we, animals
we, mad animals
longing for the comfort of mad animals
sentenced to the cosmic mattress of brown dust and tectonic box springs
we, mad animals
lay for mad animals
lie for mad animals
stay and try and die for mad animals
try so hard to find mad animals
to find comfort in we, mad animals

you, mad animal
mad in your warmth despite the human cold
mad in your smile despite your human teeth
mad in your comfort despite the very human animal madness

you, mad animal
are the maddest animal
yes you, mad animal
are the maddest, maddest animal
my very favorite maddest kind of animal
my very favorite kind of human: animal

a sane soul amongst the lunatics
Track Name: embrace
revel in the wings of the transient
and the roses
but just long enough for one small smell
and just long enough for the flight of the mind's
lips to open-mouth kiss the notion of 10,000 years from now

and wink her lying eyes
in order to distract
the senses from knowing
that she is turning around to act
out the mute dialogue of the untitled play written by the
mindless hand of fellatio

blow in the wings of the transient
and try to stay sane
dying in the wind of the transient
the light dares you to remain

embrace the fall
Track Name: flowers in the pool
I met your father in the pool
and you were there and you were wearing your bathing suit
and I was there and I was playing in the pool
I met your dad and I recall that his name was...

I tricked your mother in the pool
and you were there and I took your bathing suit from you
and I was there and I drowned your flowers in the pool

did you know that I've been drowning since then?

did you meet your father in the pool?
and were you there? was that you who was wearing your bathing suit?
and your mom? will you trick your mother in the pool?

will you meet your father as a fool?
Track Name: friend
are you my friend?
are you my friend, love, are you my friend?

are you my love?
are you my love, friend, are you my love?

why did you go, love, why did you go?
why did you go, friend, why did you go?
Track Name: h. ships
oh god, when the numb from the ice that I melt from my thoughts
turns my sleeves into cardboard
my shirt tends to tear at the seams, and my sleeves
they tend to sail away

down that stream in the street where the curb and ground meet
and the bugs are the birds in the sky
the world will not see as my new paper fleet
finds a new secret place to unhide

we are sunken ships held at bay

twice now and you're down
undo the undone for now
but what's left?

the wings are unrelenting
they tug at the heart
as the days gray the eyes of the dogs
they beat and they beat and the sound, sleeping comfort of love

they make a thought force a smile
and knowing they fly
'round the untrue ruminations of my mind

we are sunken ships held at bay

oh, didn't you know that the only way for you to see
a face in the dark like this is with your eyes?
my brain is a playground and I don't know what to do
it spins and swings and it slides around you
Jack left his scooter there, waddling helmet hair

I passed by a heavy fence
full of some greyhounds' necks stretched
and those kids, they never moved a stepped
the man with the wheels on his feet can now sing to me
anytime of the week, anytime that you please
house has plastic roots, the children all have moved

so this is what I've become
so this is what you've become
Track Name: handwoven anchor
do you recall when I told me I'd fall in a living and breathing excuse?
I excused the ideal for our fibers were blending
you walked in and took off your shoes
and I washed off your hair as our hull started sinking
our masts, we tucked under our beds
and our anchor, handwoven, its fibers now fleeting
shot fireworks off in our heads

you were commandeered, my dear
you put your shoes back on and walked away from here
broke my bottle on your chest
but the mark's been covered by all the rest

your drunken sailors brawl
I'm leading them all

they smashed and broke their necks
and you picked up the pieces and made your nest
now you're living amongst your clouds
that I'm kissing for when you're coming down

you walked right by me holding our anchor
and you'll walk right by me dragging the rose

do you remember the line I threw out
that returned to my empty bare hands?
I scraped at the twine searching for anchor fiber
I knew lay beneath the wet sand
so I got on my hands and I got on my knees
and I dug 'til fell through the sky
and I found your ship falling, its drunken crew brawling
it was "they" I was calling "them", but I'm whose included now

broken-bottled, wine-stained excused

you walked right by me holding our anchor
and you'll walk right by me dragging the rose
Track Name: holy flames
you're the young man
in the room full of dreams
you're the old dog
in the building seams

window-dweller in the glow of the beams
from heaven's ceiling, alight with holy flames

you're a small child in a sea of balloons
you're floating on lungs in the summer glow room
you see the eye in the sky as he winks at the joke
'cause you know we're all wind, yes you know that we're all smoke
Track Name: kiss the clouds
the ocean's going to drown the sun
at the center of the
earth is going to fall into the sun
and the bottom of the
sea breeze will break into your heart
and let out all the rain
and I want to kiss the clouds

the sky that sleeps across the ocean floor
will drink up all the
birds will fly across the ocean floor and crawl between
the clouds will start to pour out of your eyes

the flowers that are growing in the ground will fall up to
the roof will crumble straight into the ground
and cover you like umbrellas opened in the living room
in the house across the bay

the ocean swimming up above the clouds will spit out all the
fish will swim between the trees and clouds and slowly drown in
the rain will start to pour out of your mouth
Track Name: one more for the road
one more for the god damn road
for the rest of my life
one more for the god damn night
for the loss of my life
one more for the god damn ghost
for your god damn ghosts
for my god damn ghosts
it was the holy ghost

in the god damn flesh
and the god damn blood
with your god damn shoes
under my god damn bed
pick up your god damn shoes
under my god damn bed
can't get your god damn love
out of my god damn head
Track Name: quantum leaps
this is an old song from me
and I am an old heart for you
well, I guess that I was wrong about me
and I guess that you were wrong about you
I was wrong to doubt you'd leave
I was wrong about you
I was wrong to doubt you'd leave

your hills ain't golden no more
they lost they're shine in the war
between my head and chest

the warm glow from your gold bones has left

and I have decided
that this old song will never end
and I truly hate
every single one of my friends
with their assured reliance
on anything other than their hearts
and the forced disconnect of emotions
that they create so they can't feel
when they hurt each other

I don't understand these quantum leaps in my presumed assurance
Track Name: subculture
we're hanging from the heartstrings of pulseless imagery
that marches to the beat of the drum
these gallows bend from the rot of redundancy
consuming the hollowed appetites of the young
gutted-wallet hearts whose lantern minds are occupied
with wars on the abstract
and rattle-boned fears of the Light on the Hill Cage being kicked
by the Princes of Sand and Black Blood
help to distract, they help to distract, they help to distract
they help to pacify the masses

oh, that love, that sound, that high, those fears, those lies
these are the weapons

these are the weapons of mass distraction

this song is for you, my friends
this song is for you, my family
Track Name: this is the air
this is the air we breathe to die
this is the death we need for new life
I know that I do not know
old growth is needed for new growth
Track Name: what is this mess?
what is this mess
that we're all born into?
where should we go?
what should we do?

well, what is this mess
that we're left here to clean?
we should not repeat the past
with eyes glued to the screen

a change needs to come
born subtle in the mind
grandfather clocks will fall
no measured time

we'll have children born of speech
white roses in their eyes
their words will teach
they'll hang fire on a rhyme

well, what of the spin
keeps us stuck to the ground?
we are the wings that are cut
we sing the growl of the hound

and we stick to our guns
shooting shadows in the night
we lost the way of the word
we shake the fist of the fight

a change won't come
born subtle on the page
we'll cycle back to the start
and fall cold on the stage

we need children born speech
white branches in their hands
they'll scribble with the sap
to change the whole damn plan
Track Name: where the gates are gold
you've gone to where the gates are gold
don't lose your fire, don't ever grow old
behind that shy smile I know that you're bold
so don't let them hurt you, I'll take you home

the dawn is drowned in tears
why do you have to go away from here?
I'll hold you close, yea I'll hold you dear
don't let them hurt you, I'll take you home

I would walk the coastline
for five-hundred miles alone
I'd help you put your shoes on
so we could walk back home

you're the sand that's in my shoes
you're a glimmer of hope amongst all the bad news
you're the only win when I want to lose
don't let them hurt you, I'll take you home

you're the smoke that's in my lungs
you're the age I'm turning that's keeping me young
you're a steadier pace when the world wants to run
don't let them hurt you, I'll take you home